That feeling called Love

Do you know what that one definition of love is? Even the Oxford dictionary doesn’t have just one meaning of love. Phew! So how must I figure out what love is? No, Google doesn’t help either!!!

I always found love confusing and in the ardour to understand what love is, I decided to speak to few folks around me and perhaps should share what it means to them. Here it goes!

·         Romantic euphoria

·         Self-destruction

·         Lust

·         Commitment

·         Combination of butterflies & comfort zone

·         Physical & emotional closeness

·         Complete understanding

·         Growing old with your partner

After understanding the psyche of people in their mid-20’s, I realised that everyone defined love basis the relationships they have had and the experiences they have gone through while dating someone. However, did you ever wonder that love could be beyond the romantic context?

Interestingly, the first thought about love was associated with being romantically involved with their partner. I wonder why that happens but it’s fascinating to see how we end up thinking alike at a certain age about an expression and feeling as pure as love.

While as a kid, one might have a completely different perspective on love; it’s certain that as we age, it dawns on us that love is abstract and it is extant in small actions we perform every day.

Love beyond the romantic context

Sitting with your friend on the swing and discussing life, cuddling with your pet, hugging your mom before going off to sleep, sharing your deepest secrets with someone, playing with your kid or chasing your passion are all various forms of expressing and experiencing love.

…and some of my friends quoted love very beautifully

“Love is allowing yourself - and those you care about - room to grow and soar. It is finding your joy, and living it, every day. It is taking care of yourself, because only then can you take care of those you love. Love is being the best "you" you can be... every day.”

– Shonali Burke

“When I listen to the radio or see people describe "love" in the movies, it reminds me of the blissful

superficiality of the beginning of a relationship. I don't experience that brand of love anymore. My wife and I have been together for ten years and have two kids, and the exhilaration and newness that we once experienced has been replaced by familiarity and extraordinary responsibility. For love to exist and endure, the people closest to you find a way to empathize with, forgive and embrace your imperfection constantly. As unromantic as some aspects of an enduring love are, it feels far more gratifying for me to be loved in this way. That said, I have the most exceptional wife in the world so my worldview could be completely skewed by her brilliance. ;)” – Jim Dougherty 

“Someone once told me that love is a verb instead of a noun. That has always stuck with me. You have to actively love. You don't get to buy it from the store or keep it in the closet to use at your convenience.” – Daniel Cohen

"Love is putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and understanding what bond most comforts them, inversely accepting the person they are, because if you try to change them as per your likes then you'd be loving yourself and not them" – Anish Quenim

All of these different kinds of love and relationships have similar meaning but have a little something different to be unique.

According to many philosophers, the only aim of life is to be happy. And there is only one happiness in life; to love and be loved. But no one defines who should be the object of our affection. As long as there is love in our lives, there is fulfilment.

Love is essentially an abstract concept, much easier to experience than to explain. What do you think? 

MUMBAI- CITY OF EXTREMES

It’s funny to write about Mumbai and my experience after almost a year when I’m ready to head back home for good but I’m glad that I’m finally happy and willing to write about the city and my stay here J

The journey started with XIC (Xavier Institute of Communications) and that’s where I got a chance to visit Mumbai for the first time ever. Like every new comer to this city, I was shocked to see the amount of people and cabs this city had!! How can I forget the deadly rain? Oh my god, never in my life I have experienced such a rainy season. And it’s all the more difficult to handle it when you hate rains. God only knows how I survived. All thanks to the Bata Chappal which lasted me all through the rainy season (LoL). I still remember, my college mates drenched in the rain even after having umbrellas and rain coats covering them and the endless cribbing about the rains and then attending classes where the temperature was never above 18 degrees! Damn, I’ll miss all of that.

For mumbaikars, this season is supposed to be the best season of the year; for them it’s actually something close to winters. And when all this is combined with Marine drive, its sure is a deadly combination. No matter how much I hated the rain, but that was the time when I enjoyed the sea the most. It felt that the sea was enjoying the season too; it was happy, chirpy, touching the sky with joy. It was amazing to see so many people enjoying away to glory…jogging, talking, walking….No matter how many times I went to that place, I’m still not bored of it and would never be. Sitting at Bandstand, Marine Drive late night is just amazing till the time cops ask you to get the hell out of there (LOL). It’s just so peaceful, with the sound of the waves and the moon shining bright and making the water look like diamonds floating. I’m sure you are already imagining it all J and that is the beauty of this city!

Initially, I used to crib about the city, college and the people around so much that even I doubted at times, if I would stay there for the next minute or not. But it so happened that today I’m unable to digest that I finally have to bid goodbye to this place and my people. I was fortunate enough to make few really good friends and got to know a lot of people around. Not to forget the place I stayed made me feel at home, which makes it all the more difficult for me to say “bye” forever. The life here is much simpler yet fast compared to where I have come from (New Delhi). People are easy going, chilled out. No matter whether there are floods, fire, earthquake, you would find people walking around, working, not afraid of anything that comes their way and taking everything in stride and that is the spirit of the people here which I loved.

As I mentioned before, life of the people here is very fast, just as fast as the local trains of the city! Trust me, even the last local at 1am in the night would be packed with people hanging from the train and heading back home from work! It was an experience to travel by the Mumbai locals. I thought only Delhi buses were crazy but I stand wrong there. The first day I went onto the train, I promised to myself that I would never ever step in the train again. But as they say, Mumbai locals are the heart of the city, I realized the importance of trains after being stuck in jams forever. Practice makes a man perfect and that’s what happened! I travelled long distance in these locals and learnt the art of pushing women badly and getting in and vice versa. Dadar station is the father of all the stations and how I wished the train never stopped there but all in vain. Half the Mumbai women come from the Dadar station. ;) But I’m now looking forward to travel by the Delhi metro! The good part is - atleast delhi metros have doors which shut and there is no chance of being pushed out in the running train.

Mumbai is a city of extremes….on one hand you will find big houses, bungalows, people driving Lamborghini’s, BMW’s of the world and on the other hand you will find people unconscious on the footpaths, doing drugs, huge slums, people without food, clothes, small kids begging for money…and the irony is that not only would the riches travel by their luxurious cars, but would also travel by locals. Mumbai is a mixture of people and so many of them that you can get lost in the crowd. But everyone is so simple and easy going that you would love each moment spent here. I did! J

This one year would be the most memorable year of my life. From partying late nights to sitting next to the sea all the time to night stays at friends to late night Maggie making sessions to having free shots in the club to long college hours to the endless assignments we got, I did it all! And I would miss it all as well L This year has been full of learning for me which I would carry with me all my life. The first ever out-of-home experience has been too good to be true and I can just wish for the time to stop right here.

Someone said it right, the city grows on you and it surely did on me J. It will be hard to part away with Mumbai and all the sweet people I met here but such is life. Life will move on so should I…